Ice Watching

Rock Church, originally uploaded by Michael Shattuck.

When I was studying trombone in college, my teacher would take breaks now and then. I'd finish some exercise or whatever and he would just be looking out the window at the ice formations moving around Lake Michigan. He'd talk for a minute or so about the ice...how amazing it was to watch something so huge move all around the lake depending on wind direction. I later realized that he wasn't doing that to point out the "nomadic ice". He did that to give my mind (and "chops") a break from the intensity of whatever it was we were working on.

We need those kinds of things in our lives...the things that take our minds off of the intensity of whatever we're "working on". For me, as I'm sure you already know, that's photography. I can utterly escape behind the camera...as well as behind the computer as I work on an image, bringing it to a point I'm satisfied with. After this point, it's about equally soothing to revisit those images and see what new details I might find...think about ways to improve that particular image, my techniques, etc.

I love the warmth (even as B&W) of this image of the pipe organ at the devastated church we visited a couple of days ago. I really like the sunlight coming in through the window and how it appears as if that is what is lighting the pipes. Actually uncle Doug was holding one of my flashes on that side of the pipes and the light gently feathered over to the other side.

I needed to have this "nomadic ice" moment because there is a lot of tough stuff going on right now. Things don't look too good (in the long-run view) for my dad. We'll find out more today. That's a very difficult thing to deal with. We also got a letter from homeland security saying that since we don't live in the U.S. (WHAT??!!) the kids' applications for citizenship have been denied. However, we can file different applications and pay more money if we'd like to try again. Stress. We continue adjusting to life here...all evening homework...sports practices and games....not much time to just relax.

Life is just pretty odd. It's so different than we thought it was going to be when we were little...isn't it? We were so care-free. No worries. No problems. At least they didn't seem that big at the time. But as we get older, the curve balls begin their onslaught. Job issues. Financial issues. Family issues. More financial issues. Health...on and on and on. Odd.

I sort of broke for the first time last night. I think it all finally hit. I cried for a bit and just uttered to God those words that have been so familiar over the past couple of years, "God, I just can't do it"...my way of saying "please help. I need you." And He was there, reminding me of all the times He has held me and guided us through.

What I'm being reminded of: When you need a break, watch the ice. But know that you're not watching alone. The Teacher is there.