Morning reflections
I'm going to spend some time with my dad this morning. So, obviously I've been thinking about him and this entire situation. It's very surreal to me. I was having a conversation with my mom yesterday about what will have to be done "afterward" and it occurred to me how I was handling it all so calmly, basically without emotion. I guess that's one of those defense mechanisms kicking in, helping me cope with the reality of the situation while maintaining my ability to deal with issues that need to be handled. So strange to me.
Through all of this, I sort of find myself in a daze...as if scratching my head trying to make sense out of it all. Someone this past week told me that this is one step in the entire cycle of life. So true. Yet when we get to this point...at least now that I'm here, it's still as if I never expected it. You know? Don't know if that makes sense. But it's about as good as I can describe it. It hurts.
Interwoven amidst all of these thoughts are thoughts of life, in general. Thoughts of the meaning of it all...our role in this amazing global drama that we are seeing unfold before our very eyes. Thoughts of Christ.
I wonder how much I've missed the mark in my short life. I wonder if there are some basics that have slipped by, unnoticed due to life's busy pace.
Reading in the Paul's GEPCo letters this morning I felt re-oriented to God's purpose for my life. With verses like Galatians 6:15 - "What counts is whether we really have been changed into new and different people" - much of the junk that modern-day Christianity has put on the shoulders of believers fades away. What's left is the notion of transformation...change...true discipleship. Are we different? Am I different? Simply, do I resemble Christ?
So much changes when you just focus on that one thought. My priorities shift. My perspective on so many matters change. My goals, purpose, mission...they're all affected. Sometimes it's so easy to live life in such a way that we're dragging God along with us (or so we act) instead of us following Him. I do it...we do it...many churches do it. And we end up missing Him...we end up walking away from the very Person we're supposed to be following.
Where am I going with all of this? I'm not altogether sure. There are some change that need to occur in my life...some things that are already changing. And I've realized that it's not too late for me. I sometimes have thought that there are some things I can't really change because people already know me like this...if I acted differently then they'd think I was just faking it or whatever. But the truth is that their thoughts don't matter. What matters is whether or not I've been transformed. And if I'm not relinquishing control over to God then how can I say anything to another brother or sister in Christ about his or her life??
Well, I better stop here. I need to get ready and head out. Even thought I began talking about my dad and ended talking about my own spiritual journey, those things are related. I continue to ask for your prayers concerning his journey with Christ. Praying and thinking about those things myself has brought some things to my attention about my own life...just another way God works in situation like this.
Given the heaviness of my heart right now, I think it's appropriate to close with this verse from 1 Peter: "There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile." Thank you, Lord, for that promise.
Through all of this, I sort of find myself in a daze...as if scratching my head trying to make sense out of it all. Someone this past week told me that this is one step in the entire cycle of life. So true. Yet when we get to this point...at least now that I'm here, it's still as if I never expected it. You know? Don't know if that makes sense. But it's about as good as I can describe it. It hurts.
Interwoven amidst all of these thoughts are thoughts of life, in general. Thoughts of the meaning of it all...our role in this amazing global drama that we are seeing unfold before our very eyes. Thoughts of Christ.
I wonder how much I've missed the mark in my short life. I wonder if there are some basics that have slipped by, unnoticed due to life's busy pace.
Reading in the Paul's GEPCo letters this morning I felt re-oriented to God's purpose for my life. With verses like Galatians 6:15 - "What counts is whether we really have been changed into new and different people" - much of the junk that modern-day Christianity has put on the shoulders of believers fades away. What's left is the notion of transformation...change...true discipleship. Are we different? Am I different? Simply, do I resemble Christ?
So much changes when you just focus on that one thought. My priorities shift. My perspective on so many matters change. My goals, purpose, mission...they're all affected. Sometimes it's so easy to live life in such a way that we're dragging God along with us (or so we act) instead of us following Him. I do it...we do it...many churches do it. And we end up missing Him...we end up walking away from the very Person we're supposed to be following.
Where am I going with all of this? I'm not altogether sure. There are some change that need to occur in my life...some things that are already changing. And I've realized that it's not too late for me. I sometimes have thought that there are some things I can't really change because people already know me like this...if I acted differently then they'd think I was just faking it or whatever. But the truth is that their thoughts don't matter. What matters is whether or not I've been transformed. And if I'm not relinquishing control over to God then how can I say anything to another brother or sister in Christ about his or her life??
Well, I better stop here. I need to get ready and head out. Even thought I began talking about my dad and ended talking about my own spiritual journey, those things are related. I continue to ask for your prayers concerning his journey with Christ. Praying and thinking about those things myself has brought some things to my attention about my own life...just another way God works in situation like this.
Given the heaviness of my heart right now, I think it's appropriate to close with this verse from 1 Peter: "There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile." Thank you, Lord, for that promise.
posted by Michael Shattuck at
9:03 AM
2 Comments:
How are Vicki and the kids doing with all of this?
Vicki is a tremendous support for me. I can't say enough about her. I told her yesterday, and I'm certainly not ashamed to "publish" it, that I can't imagine going through life with anyone else but her. It's tough on the both of us...but we're doing what we can to support each other.
The kids don't know too much of what's going on. Rachel knows most of the general details but the boys just know that grandpa is really sick. They pray for him all the time and constantly ask how he's doing. We're hoping to get them over to see him soon, after he starts feeling up to it.
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