Things
First off...on a more positive note, I uploaded a few new pictures to my Flickr feed this afternoon. There are a couple of neat shots from our day at the arch (last weekend)...maybe a couple perspectives of the arch you haven't seen before. Check them out when you have the time.
On a not so positive note, I wanted to bring you all up to speed on my dad's condition. If you're just jumping in, he was diagnosed the week before Labor Day with extensive small cell lung cancer. In that short amount of time, it has spread to his brain and kidneys and there is nothing the doctor's can do at this point.
We decided that we wanted to take the kids out to the nursing home to see him. So, we headed out there last night. On the way, I took some time to speak openly with them to help them understand more of what's going on with their grandpa. It was difficult for all of us. But we feel like we want them to know the truth as to not experience any sudden shocks when he passes away. And knowing how quickly his disease is advancing, that time is drawing ever closer.
He was in a fairly positive spirit last night. It was obvious that he was excited to see the kids, although that was probably only perceptible to me (maybe Vicki) since he's so tired and worn out from the cancer and medications he's taking. We spent a little over an hour with him, talking and sharing different stories about what's been going on lately, especially with the kids. I could tell that he was really struggling to hear us, as well as having a hard time communicating back to us. Of course that was difficult to see.
The other thing that's going on is he's becoming increasingly confused. [How hard to write these things.] He was "with us" for the most part but there were obvious breaks when his mind just couldn't stay focused. The cancer is ravenous...stealing his personality before taking his life. I'm so sorry for any of you who have experienced this before.
They seem to be doing a good job at managing dad's pain. I haven't heard him complain of it lately which is a good sign. He continues to be nauseous and thus doesn't want to eat much. Again, it's hard to watch happen.
Of course the kids can't see all of these things...which is a good thing. They just see their grandpa who they haven't had a good chance to get to know, lying in a bed very sick. They did really well...they laughed with him, smiled a ton, and gave him hugs. It was so sweet when we walked in. Rachel was so afraid that she wasn't going to be able to keep herself together. She stood by me while everyone else said hello and told me that she just wanted to hug him so tight. Of course I just told her to go for it! And she did.
I'm not telling you these things to make you cry or anything. I guess I just need to get them off my chest. It's such deep stress going through this and I so often feel such a deep wound from it all. But our God is faithful and He is here with us all being the strength that we can't possess right now. I'm so thankful for that.
Continue to pray for us all. Thank you for the words of encouragement you have sent me/us. They mean a lot.
On a not so positive note, I wanted to bring you all up to speed on my dad's condition. If you're just jumping in, he was diagnosed the week before Labor Day with extensive small cell lung cancer. In that short amount of time, it has spread to his brain and kidneys and there is nothing the doctor's can do at this point.
We decided that we wanted to take the kids out to the nursing home to see him. So, we headed out there last night. On the way, I took some time to speak openly with them to help them understand more of what's going on with their grandpa. It was difficult for all of us. But we feel like we want them to know the truth as to not experience any sudden shocks when he passes away. And knowing how quickly his disease is advancing, that time is drawing ever closer.
He was in a fairly positive spirit last night. It was obvious that he was excited to see the kids, although that was probably only perceptible to me (maybe Vicki) since he's so tired and worn out from the cancer and medications he's taking. We spent a little over an hour with him, talking and sharing different stories about what's been going on lately, especially with the kids. I could tell that he was really struggling to hear us, as well as having a hard time communicating back to us. Of course that was difficult to see.
The other thing that's going on is he's becoming increasingly confused. [How hard to write these things.] He was "with us" for the most part but there were obvious breaks when his mind just couldn't stay focused. The cancer is ravenous...stealing his personality before taking his life. I'm so sorry for any of you who have experienced this before.
They seem to be doing a good job at managing dad's pain. I haven't heard him complain of it lately which is a good sign. He continues to be nauseous and thus doesn't want to eat much. Again, it's hard to watch happen.
Of course the kids can't see all of these things...which is a good thing. They just see their grandpa who they haven't had a good chance to get to know, lying in a bed very sick. They did really well...they laughed with him, smiled a ton, and gave him hugs. It was so sweet when we walked in. Rachel was so afraid that she wasn't going to be able to keep herself together. She stood by me while everyone else said hello and told me that she just wanted to hug him so tight. Of course I just told her to go for it! And she did.
I'm not telling you these things to make you cry or anything. I guess I just need to get them off my chest. It's such deep stress going through this and I so often feel such a deep wound from it all. But our God is faithful and He is here with us all being the strength that we can't possess right now. I'm so thankful for that.
Continue to pray for us all. Thank you for the words of encouragement you have sent me/us. They mean a lot.
posted by Michael Shattuck at
2:08 PM
1 Comments:
Michael, wow... i have been reading your blog every now and then and knew your dad was sick but your entry today made it very clear. i don't know what to say. i am so sorry. i will remember you whe i pray. i'll be in canada in a week... love u guys.
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