The Dream of God

Stemming from the notion that the word "will", specifically at least as seen in the "Lord's Prayer", could also be interpreted as wish, McLaren takes it a step further and presents the idea of the Kingdom of God as being The Dream of God.

It's difficult to really understand the complexities, the intricacies of kingdom (earthly) relationships as none of us, unless there are readers I'm not aware of, have ever lived in a real kingdom. So, we look to other aspects of life, of experience to find correlations or other metaphors which could help us grasp the depth that Jesus speaks of as the Kingdom.

Jesus prayed, "Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." McLaren suggests that this, in this dream metaphor, could be rendered "May all your dreams for your creation come true." Maybe it's because this was the first time I've heard or read that. Or maybe it's because the idea of God's dream is more tangible, more real for me than the full idea of a kingdom. Whatever it is, this notion is very appealing to me.

Brian goes on...

This language suggests a more personal, less mechanistic relationship between God and our world. It would resonate...with a mother who has great dreams for her child, or a coach who has great dreams for her team, or an artist who has great dreams for a novel or painting or symphony he is creating, or a teacher who has high dreams for his students. (p141)

This really makes me stop and think. I can imagine God conceiving of the idea to create and having an ultimate dream...an ultimate desire for His creation. I can imagine how sin and its poisonous fruits must be the biggest, ugliest nightmares to Him as He longs for wholeness, completeness, purity.

I'm a dreamer. Looking back, I always have been. But I am forced, by a metaphor such as this, to think hard about whether or not my big dreams are really in line with God's. Am I becoming the man he dreamed, desired for me to be...thinking about everything (my relationship with Him, relationships within my family, my work, my play, my rest, my finances, my blog, really everything)? This gives me some serious motivation to evaluate my life knowing that in God's larger, overarching dream, or desire, for His creation He has given me a part to play. It's my choice, daily, whether or not I will give myself to seeing as much of that dream realized as I can or if I will just be another contribution to the seemingly intensifying nightmare that creation is providing its Creator.

Side note: I finished this book but don't want to discuss it too much (yet). I really want you guys to pick this book up and work through it (there's even a discussion guide available online at the author's website). It's hugely valuable as we consider our identity in Christ. I don't want to spoil it by blogging about it. Pick up a copy for yourself!

"What if" Bliss

Finished More Ready Than You Realize and enjoyed my second Brian McLaren book so much that I wanted to immediately "go again". So, I began reading his recently published The Secret Message of Jesus: Uncovering the truth that could change everything.

You all have heard me say it a few times already, I'm a "what-if'er". I have been since long ago. I love those two words. I love to dream about the answer to such questions. I love to plague people with my "what-if'er" sickness!

Brian catapulted me into "what-if" bliss in chapter 1 of this book with a page and a half of my favorite questions! And the excitement was intensified knowing that the core of these questions involves so many things I've been exploring, considering, embracing in past months. I want to share some of this with you.

What if Jesus of Nazareth was right -- more right, and right in different ways, than we have ever realized? What if Jesus had a message that truly could change the world, but we're prone to miss the point of it?

What if we have developed a religion that makes reverent and honoring statements about Jesus but doesn't teach what Jesus taught in the manner he taught it? What if the religion generally associated with Jesus neither expects nor trains its adherents to actually live in the way of Jesus?

What if the core message of Jesus has been unintentionally misunderstood or intentionally distorted? What if many have sincerely valued some aspects of Jesus' message while missing or even suppressing other, more important dimensions? What if many have carried on a religion that faithfully celebrates Jesus in ritual and art, teaches about Jesus in sermons and books, sings about Jesus in songs and hymns, and theorizes about Jesus in seminaries and classrooms...but somewhere along the way missed rich and radical treasures hidden in the essential message of Jesus?

What if Jesus' secret message reveals a secret plan? What if he didn't come to start a new religion -- but rather came to start a political, social, religious, artistic, economic, intellectual, and spiritual revolution that would give birth to a new world?

What if his secret message had practical implications for such issues as how you live your daily life, how you earn and spend money, how you treat people of other races and religions, and how the nations of the world conduct their foreign policy? What if his message directly or indirectly addressed issues like advertising, environmentalism, terrorism, economics, sexuality, marriage, parenting, the quest for happiness and peace, and racial reconciliation? (pp 3-4)

There's more but I'll stop there. I've already (as I seemingly often do) gone long. These are tantalizing questions, don't you agree? Don't they make you want to know what he's talking about? Maybe I'll share more in a few days. Or better yet, pick the book up and join me on the journey!

New TV Show: "God Cheaters"

You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble."

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.

I have been camped out in James for the past few weeks. I've just been reading through it over and over trying to get myself to the point where I can actually recall the major themes. [I really don't like it when I get to the next day and think about what I read yesterday, only to realize that I evidently didn't do a good job of internalizing it!]

The couple of paragraphs above (4:4-10 from the Message) really grabbed me this morning. The imagery of cheating on God is very vivid for me. I know that I myself am a cheater at times...taking time, probably more often than I'd like to admit, to flirt with worldly things like anger, jealousy, being critical of others and myself, complaining, etc etc etc.

Why in the world do I cheat though? Why would I actually step away from (sometimes maybe even run from) the life that I have as a Christ follower? I'm not serious about those other things...I'm not looking for a steady commitment with them. I guess sometimes the lure is too strong, the desire in me to strong while the discipline is too weak...and I give in. Following, much like cheating in romantic relationships, I am left trying to put the pieces of my injured relationship with Jesus back together.

A lot in our spiritual lives, I think, is affected by my/our cheating. I was just thinking through this as I was reading this morning and I began "dreaming" of what the church would look like if we were all 100% committed Christ followers. Imagine! My personal life would be completely transformed, yours as well...and then think about how that would impact the overall community of believers that we are in!! Then, and this is the big one, think about how that would change the world!!!

Maybe one answer is to form some kind of TV show called "God cheaters", go around with video cameras, and catch people on film who are cheating on God. Then we can somehow shame everyone into right behavior...right followship. [You do know there's a reality show called "Cheaters" right?] But maybe even better is for me, for you, to realize what we're walking, or running, away from when we flirt with the world...or worse when we have full-blown affairs with it. That alone should be all the motivation we need to hold tight to our commitment to Jesus.

Turn off the afterburners

Growing up in St. Louis, we lived really close to McDonnell-Douglas (later bought out by Boeing). We would drive past it a lot going to church or whatever we were doing on that side of StL. There was this building that always intrigued me...no windows...seemed secretive. The sign in front said "Flight Simulation". I wanted in. I think I must have said that every time we drove by that place.

Well, guess what. My mom works at Boeing. At times I think she runs the place. And knowing the seemingly life-long dream of her son to get into the secretive Flight Simulation building, and more importantly into the actual simulators inside, she made it happen. I got to "play" for an hour in a F/A-18 Hornet flight simulator sometime a couple of years ago before coming to Poland. And man was it incredible!!

Sitting in this jet cockpit mockup, all the controls at my disposal ("What's this button?")...the throttle...the HUD...the buttons, knobs, switches, levers...oh, it was amazing. But you know what? I stunk!! The guy helping me kept setting up different scenarios so that I could get into some good 'ole air-to-air combat with some bogies...and I stunk! I shot one (of like 150) down. And thinking about it this morning, he must have handicapped it or something. Maybe it ran out of fuel or something.

My problem: always trying to go too fast. There was something about jamming that thruster down and going into afterburner that fascinated me. I want to fly...fast! And going Mach 1.8, or whatever, there was no way to keep sight of my targets. It was ridiculous. But after being told about 38 times to slow down, take a look around the "sky" and my instruments, I was able to spot them and pull them in closer to me again.

Reading James 4 this morning I was sitting thinking about how difficult it is to follow Jesus' example in life. This thought of the simulator came to mind. It's really a lot like that because it's not an idle target. The life of Christ is dynamic, moving us constantly to action. But I get into trouble when I begin going too fast. I throw myself into afterburner mode and immediately begin losing my target(s), the standards or desires that Jesus gives me to live out. But as he leads me to slow it down, take a look around, they come back into view again.

Don't know if you out there can relate to that metaphor. Maybe since you haven't flown a Hornet you can't truly understand (haha). Amidst all of the other challenges I have identified in my life recently, this morning I just felt challenged to slow down, turn off the afterburners, and take the time to really keep my eyes trained on Jesus, the absolute most important target of my life.

Walking through an art gallery

I'm about halfway through Brian McLaren's More Ready Than You Realize. It's yet another thought provoking piece of the journey I'm currently on. I'll definitely post more later from this book.

For today, one quote:

...as we wander through the universe, we are not just encountering meaningless stuff; rather, we are walking through an art gallery, filled with objects full of meaning, expressiveness, revelation of the Creator's heart, intelligence, compassion, and whimsy.

I posted a couple of days ago using the quote from The Power of Serving Others...about how we can't lock eyes with someone God doesn't love passionately (my paraphrase). This quote, from today, expands that a bazillion times over.

Can you imagine the depth of the universe? The total depth of creation? I don't think I can even begin to think on that level. But just stop and think...everything...absolutely everything you see around you (not even mentioning the things that we can't see) is valuable to God.

Let the depth of that thought sink in. Can you imagine how life-changing that could be if that was on your mind from the time you woke up to the time you fell asleep?

Wow! Reading that today, I'm just in awe of Him!!

Me...a single dad!

I dropped my wife and two oldest kiddos off today at camp. While I could write a book about my feelings concerning camps I'll spare you all. Just wanted to give those of you that know me a laugh or two as you think about me being Mr. Mom for the next 10 days or so.

One of the biggest problems is food. Again, if you know me there's no surprise here. And to make matters worse I have pretty seriously changed my eating style of late to foods which take some serious talent to pull off...you know, things which don't include sandwiches, pizza, mac & cheese (not available in Poland anyway), and other quick fixes.

So, my dear, wonderful, sweet, loving wife actually pre-cooked about 6 major meals for Maciek and me. Yeah I know...spoiled, right? You better believe it! I am well taken care of, for sure!!

But you know, food aside, this will be a very interesting learning experience for me taking care of the little guy 24/7/10...a great opportunity for us to do some serious father-son bonding! Pray for us. And pray for the campers in my family. I'm praying this time, out of the norm, will be a refresher for Vicki and a really enjoyable time for Paulina and Piotrek.

Just thought I'd share...

Power of Serving..."Anyways"

I wanted to give special attention to this list of "Anyways". While they appear in this book they are actually attributed to Kent Keith, Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments.

People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered.
Love them anyway

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

The authors add this:

Keith says that these commandments focus on something other than what the culture seems to value (celebrity, influence, money). Instead, the focus is on helping, loving, improving, persevering, looking out for those who can't look out for themselves. It is a change in focus, he claims, from looking inward to looking outside of ourselves. When we make a difference in the lives of others, he says, we make our own lives different -- for the better.

That's good stuff, isn't it? It's really easy to get wrapped up in all the junk that the world holds dear. And that means that it's really easy, as well, to lose sight of all of the things that Christ held dear as he lived on this big hunk of rock. Servanthood was at the very center of his life and as followers of Christ we should be emulating him with everything in us...thus we should be servants to the core as well. These "anyways" should just serve to remind us that even when circumstances don't lean in our favor we are called, challenged to live in Christ anyway!

Do you really serve people? Or do you serve yourself? Do you really see people? Or do you just see yourself? When you see needs do you do something to meet them or just keep moving on as if nothing was wrong? Trust me, I'm asking myself these same questions (and more). And I have to be honest...I'm not too thrilled with my answers.

Power of Serving Others

I've been in reading bliss recently, especially as we got close to 20 books brought over to us by some friends who volunteered at our mission meeting a few weeks ago. The most recent is The Power of Serving Others by Gary Morsch and Dean Nelson. It seems, although I may be mistaken, that most of the stories come from Gary, the founder and president of Heart to Heart International.

The book can really be summed up by these following three principles, which are found throughout all of the accounts given by the authors:

1. Everyone has something to give.
2. Most people are willing to give when they see the need and have the opportunity.
3. Everyone can do something for someone right now.

Let me just throw some great quotes your way. If I don't give a source then it's from the authors...

"...melancholy could be cured in fourteen days if 'you try to think every day how you can please someone.'" Psychiatrist Alfred Adler

"The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"The test is not what you can do in the aftermath of a hurricane. It's what you can do for the widow next door or the single parent on your street." (authors referring to need being constant...not just when major disasters occur)

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." Mother Teresa

"True peace, the high and abiding peace that passeth all understanding, is to be had not in retreat from the battle, but only in the thick of the battle." Frederick Buechner

"Sometimes we get paralyzed by the world's problems and needs and how inadequate we are to solve them. But we can all do something, no matter how small."

"If you are not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

"Everyone carries with them at least one and probably many pieces to someone else's puzzle. Sometimes they know it; sometimes they don't know it. And when you present your piece, which is worthless to you, to another, whether you know it or not, whether they know it or not, you are a messenger from the Most High." Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

There's some serious good stuff here. I'm going to dedicate another entry to a rather extensive set of thoughts/principles that I enjoyed chewing on for awhile (maybe tomorrow or Friday). But just with these above quotes in mind I am challenged to think more seriously about the needs which are right in front of my face and figure out tangible ways that I can meet those needs.

Ministry, meeting the needs of people, is something that doesn't happen much here in Poznan. There are a couple of ministries which are really reaching out, touching peoples' lives...but on the whole we're pretty much inwardly focused, believer-sensitive if you know what I mean. And I am pretty sure that this hunch is true, that until we begin moving our attention to the meeting of peoples' needs, especially those outside of the church, we are not going to see much growth.

Pick this book up if you're interested. It's really not, at least seemingly, directed to the church crowd although there are many many obvious Christian overtones (how could you talk about meeting peoples' needs apart from Christ??!!). But it will challenge you no matter who you are and how much you are already involved in ministry. And maybe those challenges are what we need to embrace our true calling as believers, moving outside of ourselves and our pursuits of meeting our own needs to focusing our life and energies on meeting the needs of the people around us.

More to come...

More than meets the eye!

I finished You! this afternoon while the kids were out riding their bikes and Vicki was taking a little nap. I like this book a lot for its straightforward simplicity. It's a quick read, incorporates scripture everywhere and, I think, it has given me a lot of insight into dealing with the self-esteem issues I face at times.

One thing I wanted to draw our attention to is something Ed mentions toward the beginning of chapter 7. He is supporting the base for the rest of the chapter, that we are not only responsible for maintaining our own sense of self-esteem (as supported by our understanding of God's view of us) but further, that we are responsible for instilling positive self-esteem in others. He says:

...and this one thing is vital to remember: we will never lock eyes with someone who does not matter to God. Everyone is important to God. (emphasis mine)

Let's try to keep that thought in our minds. Everywhere we go we encounter people that God loves passionately. Let the magnitude of that settle in.

The games we play

I'm reading a new'ish Ed Young, Jr. book called You!. In Chapter 3 he just got through talking about "dangerous games we play to mask our scarred self-esteem." I read these few pages thinking a lot about how uncomfortably familiar I am with the rules of these games. In order to remember them well I thought the best way would be to write a bit about them.

Game 1 - The Comparison Game
Intro: The basics are simple. Check out everything about everyone and see how those things compare with me. What do they have, how do they dress, what kind of job/position do they have, how much money do they make, how behaved are their kids, how fit are they...need I go on?
Possible Outcome #1: Self-esteem takes a nose dive. We discover that "they" have it a lot better than me and I will never be able to get that which "they" have. *phew* Thus, they rock - I suck. This is flawed because it puts a bigger emphasis on my exterior than on my interior, something God is definitely not in favor of.
Possible Outcome #2: "we might book ourselves on an ego trip." Comparing ourselves to "them" we might decide that we are so much better, have more, etc that we deserve to be praised for it all. This is flawed as we are instructed to boast only in the Lord, not in ourselves (2 Cor 10:17).

Game 2 - The Criticism Game
Intro: Learn to pick apart anything and everything.
Option 1: Criticize ourselves. We find ways to rip ourselves apart in an attempt to garner attention and subsequent praise from the people around us. It's this sense of false criticism we use to get people to fire praise back in our direction. Might go like this (this is a true scenario too...or not):

• You: Boy, you look great today.
• Me: I feel like I look like, uh, crud.
• You: No, really...you look fabulous...great tie, sharp suit, incredible top hat!
• Me: Oh, tell me more!

Option 2: Criticize others. We can nitpick every little thing that anyone else does trying to get a leg up on them. It's easy, let's try it.

• Me: What does he have on? Call the fashion police!
• Me: Please, she can't sing.
• Me: You call that a tithe?!
• Me: I could've preached a sermon like that in 3rd grade!
• Me: Good job, I volunteered three times as much last month!
• ...get the picture? Good, that was getting too fun!

Flaw: I like Ed's comment on the criticism game: "...it's a disguise when we criticize. Negative criticism is just an attempt to cover the festering wounds in our own self-esteem. it also makes a mockery of God's creative genius. We're saying that some of his creation is worthy of our admiration while some falls short. It is simply a losing game to do that, because God created each person to be unique.

Honestly, openly, admittedly I struggle with self-esteem problems. I think a lot of it...so much of it that it's hard to even talk about...comes from being picked on as a kid for being chubby. That has led to a problem with always feeling overweight and at times being pretty radical with that (although never any disease-related problems, thankfully). But this impacts a lot of life and my perceptions with how people see me. I'm sure that many of you know what I'm talking about although maybe your struggles might have different sources.

As a good step toward recovery we can keep these games in our mind. At times we can seem to really be enjoying ourselves when we're playing. But after the rest of the players go home we know the truth, don't we. Instead of continuing to play we need to run to our Father...I need to run to Him when I'm struggling and hear what He tells me. I need to read of His love for me...of how He wants to care for me...my Groom who has gone to prepare a place for me and is one day coming back. All that matters is how He sees me and that I am living as focused on Him as possible!

"This is life folks"

Let me just first say, you don't want to be on the receiving end of that bite!! The kid (Maciek or Machee as I call him, my almost 3 year old, to-be son) is an experienced eater. He takes his craft seriously. Sandwich, hand, whatever...beware!

We were driving home from the pool today (should be a post in and of itself -- never go to an outdoor pool in Poland when it's below 70 degrees!!) and the kids began having a good time in the van. They were trying to come up with some English words to call each other. Honestly I don't remember the things they were coming up with as they tend to use such occasions to stretch their linguistic legs and end up referring to each other as all manner of fruits, vegetables, tableware (plates, glasses, etc), and other things.

Today ended up a little differently. As mom and dad laughed with the kids Maciek began calling everyone this certain word. It sounded cute..."oh, you're making up words," we said to him. We were laughing, the kids were laughing.

Isn't ignorance bliss? You have no idea what he was saying...and as it turned out we didn't either. Needless to say (why else would I be writing about this) he hadn't made up his own, cute little word. Paulina, after laughing a few times mind you, told him to stop saying that. After asking why, she told us that it was a bad word for something girls have. WHAT??!!

Like I said, ignorance is often bliss isn't it? How nice to know that we were egging the little guy on...our laughter basically telling him "say it again, say it again!" Of course the fun ended, mom got stern and we were reminded again about how difficult this endeavor is...parenting, parenting three, and parenting three with the added bonus of so much being in Polish.

This is life folks. I've got this blog to share that with you all and it doesn't get more real than this. Rolled up between the lines of that moment is our existence in Poland. The good, the bad, and the ugly (I'm making the movie sound effects as I'm typing this...just no way to type ah-eh-ah-eh-ah without it coming across as a donkey or something).

Thank you Lord for life...blunders and all!!

Simple isn't always simple

Click to see larger version

Isn't that a great comic?! A friend sent it my way the other day, knowing that we're big into baseball right now...or at least we'd like to be. [It'd be easier if all of Poland didn't go on vacation during the summer!]

I was just thinking about something another friend said when we were at Little League training a few months ago. He said that sometimes people make the game so difficult, teaching about designated hitters, infield fly rules, how to keep score on those ridiculous baseball score cards, etc. Instead of all of that junk that just muddies up the game for beginners, he said that he just thinks of it like this: see the ball, hit the ball. That's it...see the ball, hit the ball.

I sometimes think about how I really complicate my spiritual life. If and on which day to fast, how much time did I spend doing *X* spiritual task today, etc...you know what I mean. When in fact what we're called to is seemingly fairly simple...follow the Master and become more and more like Him.

Here's the thing though. It's another example of the phrase I'm coming to really enjoy, "simply complicated". The basics are quite simple: see the Master, be [like] the Master or See Him, be Him. But man is that hard!! Unbelievably so at times. I've struck out in both baseball and in my spiritual life, many times. But it does help me sometimes to take a step back and remember that it doesn't always have to be so complicated. Hey, maybe I should patent this thought...what do you think??

SEE&Be
SeeHimBeHim
(dare I?) SMBM

Ok, just kidding...that is, unless anyone really thinks I can make it big -- haha!

Let's call this one "Funky Staircases"

Isn't that a beautiful staircase? Wouldn't mind being the owner of a house with that in it?! I want to talk today about a different kind of staircase...one that I've found myself on more than once...ok, way more than once!

There are times when I feel a bad mood coming on. It's almost like I'm working my way into it. A bad look here...smart comment there...glance, glare, and *gasp* I'm there. Does that ever happen to you? No, I know...it's just me. :-)

The feeling I have is that I get to working my way down a spiraling staircase, step by step (or look by look, word by word). And when I finally take a look around and realize that I've made it down to the bottom floor it's too late. I'm there. I'm mad.

Then I think "I don't want to be here...it's much better on the top floor." So, I turn around and start back up. But something is awry. At first I suspect it's the stairs' fault. Maybe the banister is messed up some how and thus at fault. Maybe the angle or the height of the steps are off. The more I look the clearer it becomes that the staircase is fine...but there's another problem.

Me, I'm the problem. My pride makes getting back up the staircase a monumental task. That pride makes my legs feel so heavy, the task so impossible that it feels like it's hardly worth the effort...better to stay at the bottom, walk around a little bit, and enjoy the change in scenery. Maybe just wait for an elevator to be installed so I don't have to do any work to get back upstairs.

It's hard to climb out of a funk (ie anger, disappointment, discouragement, temporary depression, etc)...at least for me. I was talking with a friend about the passage in Philippians 2 that talks about Jesus humbling himself and coming to earth...not holding on to his true identity but taking on the lowly form of man. Humility was at the core of Jesus' existence...every word, deed, and thought. I don't think he got into funks because he didn't put himself above the people around him. He didn't sulk about not getting something the way he wanted. He didn't delve into the ugly depths of anger.

This is an unbelievable challenge for me. Instead of blaming others, looking for easy ways out, or staying in mental/emotional places I don't want to be, I'm trying to learn to just say "forget it...it's not worth it." I'm keeping myself from enjoying life during those "funks" and am really fed up with that. I'm trying to choose the way of my Teacher more. It's ridiculous hard at times and I'm going to fail often. But it's something I'd really like to see happen in my life.

Just wanted to share...

Some thoughts from Stand Against the Wind

Coming to the end of Stand Against the Wind yesterday, I was really challenged to a new way of living. The last chapter does a great job of summarizing the rest of the book and I thought I'd share a couple paragraphs with you.

On this journey we discover that not only does humility lead to integrity and integrity lead to courage, that gratitude leads to wholeness, which results in generosity, but we also will discover that faithfulness develops perseverance, which grows us in wisdom.

As we grow in humility, gratitude, and faithfulness, we find ourselves with the strength of character to endure the greatest hardships and overcome our greatest challenges. Our capaciy to be resilient will increase as we journey deeper into these virtues. When we are resilient, we have an unexplainable capacity to recover from illness, adversity, and even depression.

As we grow in integrity, wholeness, and perseverance, we find integration in our lives. In a world filled with brokenness, the capacity to integrate all the pieces is critical for health. (author's emphases)

Reading this I just thought how I need to simplify my thinking. If I can just focus on three aspects of life, humility - gratitude - faithfulness, then I am on my way to the fullness that God intends for me. Life gets so complicated...choices constantly spinning around us. I'm going to be trying to just think of these simple terms during those chaotic times in hopes that they allow me to make decisions which will lead to greater, fuller life!

Living Life

In Stand Against the Wind Erwin McManus says:

You cannot follow Jesus and remain the same. The journey itself will change you forever -- not only your priorities but your passions. It alters not only your direction but your desires. It transforms not only your actions but your values. It makes you just like Christ and unlike anyone else. It is nothing less than leaving the fake for the real. (Author's emphases)

In another place he says this:

God formed us in His image and then breathes life into us. God's life in us is sustained by character. When we lose the character of God, we lose the life of God in us. But to have His character, we must first die to ourselves, because TO BECOME LIKE HIM IS WHAT IT MEANS TO REALLY LIVE. (Again, author's emphases)

I'm chewing on these thoughts today. I went and worked out and then spent a few minutes in the sauna connecting with God. I needed that quiet, burning hot place as somewhat of an escape to gather my thoughts. I just sat there feeling sort of listening...calling out like a ship lost in the fog..."is there anybody out there?!"

No, I'm not lost...no need for evangelistic emails. But at times I experience what McManus is talking about. Because of letting go of God's character for awhile...winging it...doing it on my own, I get all my wires crossed and start acting like...well, I start acting like myself instead of acting like Christ. Father, forgive me for that.

I've written further about 10 times and each time erased. I think there's something to that. So, I'll stop now, close here and just let the Holy Spirit finish this conversation in all of us as I know we all struggle with living life.

Blessed Thursday!

Dragons and Dads

When I was 11 years old, I remember coming home from Jr. High and having my dad say he wanted to talk to my sister and me. I don't remember much of the actual conversation specifically. But it was then that I realized that my parents were getting divorced...that all of the threats of this action had finally culminated and that this was the real deal. Looking back, it's really strange that I learned that from my dad.

I love my dad and really always have. It's just that throughout my life, even before the divorce, he hasn't been there too much. I mean, he's been there physically just not so much emotionally and all...you know, to help me grow up into a man. Instead, I was mostly raised by my mom, sister, and grandma. [No wonder I feel messed up sometimes -- just kidding mom!]

This reality is hard for a boy...and as I have come to find out, it is hard for a man to look back and not have a dad going through life with him. This is what led me to this book about owning dragons. Donald Miller, definitely one of my favorite authors, decided to write this book after dealing with this issue in his life. And like his other books, it's just like he's taking you along for the ride through his journey...a journey marked by his statement that for him owning a dragon was about as likely as him having a dad.

A couple points for me sharing intimate details of my life...

1. If you're in the same boat, pickup this book.
2. I have learned again and again, and maybe most deeply through Miller, how God is fathering me. The love, the discipline, the mercy, the leading...it's all Him guiding me through the mysteries of life helping me become the man He wants me to be.
3. I want to publicly acknowledge that I don't have to have the approval of people I might perceive as father figures around me. I have this thing in me, I think, that needs peoples' approval...especially "older, wiser" men. I wouldn't have thought of it before reading the "dragon book" but it really is there. In a sense, I guess what's happening is that I'm still looking for the praise of my dad. Instead, I am putting it out there (I think this is called accountability or something) for the world to hear that my worth, my "praise" need only come from my Heavenly Father. This is a tough one to work on...but the shift in perspective is hopefully slowly coming.
4. I'm good enough...smart enough...and gosh darnit people like me (ok, this is actually from Saturday Night Live, but I couldn't resist).

That's not it from the "dragon book" but that's a little snapshot into my mind. That's what blogging is for anyway, right? Maybe some of you out there in cyberworld can really feel what I'm talking about. We men need to learn to deal with some of these tough, emotional issues so that we can really begin to reap out of life all that our true Dad wants for us. It's not easy, but we are promised again and again that He will always be with us...loving us, guiding us, fathering us.

Back in action after AGM

Hey there!
We finally made it back from our 10-day meeting fest and have had a couple of days to unwind and put myself back together again (mostly). Our time with our colleagues was good, challenging, and even occasionally relaxing. But it's just tough for this guy to sit in meeting after meeting for so long. Sometimes I wonder if I don't have some attention deficit disorder or something. Anyone out there identify?

Anyway, as a brief word about our kiddos, as everyone has been asking how they did. These three (remember, 12-11-and 3...Polish as primary language and limited exposure to English - through us) did incredible going to their VBS-style classes every day with all of the other American MKs (missionary kids). We thought they would be overloaded on English by the time we met back up with them...but NO! Not once did they complain about the language difficulties, want to speak only in Polish, or desire to retreat to the safety of our room with mom and dad. I was so proud of them...scratch that...we were so proud of them.

Kids are amazing. I wish that we were half as capable of adapting to new situations (and languages!) as they are. Watching them run around with other MKs was just a thrill for me. I kept watching for them to freak out and give up, but it never happened. They just kept plugging away, making language mistakes (but always trying), laughing even when they didn't completely understand why, and playing with their new found friends.

I just wanted to share that tidbit as many out there are praying for them...and for us as the process of adoption continues on. We are still praying that either the process will be completed or that we'll be given temporary custody by the time summer is over. Pray with us with that in mind would you?

More to come...