"Ascension"

Ascension, originally uploaded by Michael Shattuck.

We had a foggy day, in general, today. And tonight it made me think of a shot that I wanted to get. So, with gear in tow, I headed out to the end of the street to pop some flashes and see what I could get.

This is partly why I love photography. There is such freedom in expression. No one telling you what to shoot, when to shoot, or how to shoot. You just go out there and shoot. There's no right or wrong (well, ok...there can be some serious wrong...but you know).

This has absolutely positively not a single thing to do with Christmas. Maybe I should have worn a Santa hat or something! But seeing as though we will be leaving town tomorrow and not get back until Christmas Eve, I'll take this chance to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas! I hope and pray that this is a time of peace in your lives...a time that you truly can reflect on what God has done in your lives through the birth of Jesus. It's sometimes tough to focus on that message during this time of year (ironic, huh?) but I'm trying hard to do so and encourage you to as well.

I've missed "talking" with you all recently but just haven't had it in me too much to bang my thoughts out on the keyboard. And I just think that Thumper's dad was right..."when you ain't got nothin' good to say, don't say nothin' at all."

Many blessings to you and your families!

St. Louis Holiday Brass Concert

St. Louis Holiday Brass Concert, originally uploaded by Michael Shattuck.

Went down to the St. Louis Cathedral a few nights ago for an incredible Christmas concert. It is an absolutely gorgeous church. As the musicians played, every inch of the place was filled with their music. It was spectacular.

Click here for the larger version.

Alarm! Alarm!!

Sitting there, minding our own business, and suddenly an alarm goes off down the hall. It turns out that the CO levels in our house had soared to over 300 (parts per something). Not knowing what that meant, we read the info sheet on the alarm and found that over 10 is bad...300 is, uh, quite alarming.

A call to 911, visit from the fire department, and later from the gas company, and we find ourselves holed up next door at my aunt's house. The FD told me that you can go 8 hours with a level of 300 but that at 1000 you can die in three minutes.

Evidently the problem is that our boiler wasn't ventilating at all. So, all of that gas was coming straight back out into the house. Unbelievable.

More blessings...this time for an alarm that, as it turns out, saved five lives tonight. The gas man said the CO would have just kept climbing through the night as we slept.

God is good!

Slideshow and pictures

I put together a slideshow of a several pictures of my dad from throughout his life for the memorial service. I thought that many of you would be interested to see those pictures. So, I put the photos into SoundSlides for you to check out. There's no audio...so just click through them as you'd like. See any resemblance?

Click here for the slideshow. There a quite a few photos, so be patient as it loads. You can also click on the "small" button (lower-left) to view the same slideshow in a smaller format.

While we didn't really take many pictures yesterday, we did get a few. Here are a couple familiar faces, speaking at the service and a neat photo of our family, my sister and her husband, and my dad's sisters and brothers that came from Ohio and Florida for the service.

Dad's memorial service

Thank you all so much for your comments, emails, and cards. They have been a great encouragement over these past days. It's been a very difficult time, but we're doing well.

We had the memorial service yesterday morning. We had been hoping to see quite a few folks turn out and that indeed was the case. There were many family members (both from here and several of my dad's sisters and brothers that flew in from Ohio, Georgia, and Florida), long-time friends, folks my dad did jobs for, and even a buddy from a Waffle House my dad frequented. It was wonderful for a son to see everyone who showed up to honor his dad.

Amidst the songs and photos that we programmed to share, we had an "open mic" time for anyone to recount a memory, or what have you, with my dad. What a special time to hear so many people talk about the way he loved them and their families. It was truly beautiful and made it so obvious that he was a unique man. In situations like that I can't help but think about what would be said at such a service for me. Would I have so many say that I was their best friend? Would I be remembered for loving people so self-lessly? Would I be remembered as a servant? My dad was all of those things and more.

One thing that sticks out so clearly came from the message that a friend and minister from our church shared. He was talking about when Jesus raised Lazarus from the grave, saying "come out". He went on to describe how at some point my dad received that same call from the Lord and left his earthly grave clothes to be raised anew in the presence of the Almighty. What an incredible picture! It's made all the more powerful thinking about how I was surely able to watch that happen.

Thinking through everything that happened...everything that was said about my dad...I am so amazed and proud of who he became. His story is one of transformation. My dad really seemed to start his life over...make up for some of the things in the past. These last several years he was able to reorganize his life so that he could be there for people. He tirelessly served them with attention to both their work-related (everything from remodeling their homes to fixing their lawnmowers) and spiritual needs. He loved us kids so dearly and wanted so badly to be able to spend more time with us...something God allowed us to do these past few months before he went home. He was a wonderful man. He was my dad and I loved him so much.

Why not give a heifer?

I came across this organization this morning watching Fox & Friends. If you're still looking for some unique gift ideas, you can find several at Heifer International. No, it's not all too often that you're able to give a flock of ducks to someone...but this org will help you do just that.

People (all of us) talk a lot about wanting to do things to change others' lives. It's cool that organizations like this, World Vision, and others allow us to do that so easily.

Best day of my dad's life

Last night at 10:38pm my dad closed his eyes on earth and opened them up in the presence of the Almighty. Without a doubt, it was the best day of his life.

It's been such an extraordinary journey. I'm here to tell you that he shocked every health care worker involved. They continuously said that he was in the "last stages"...so much so that it was hard to truly be prepared for the end because those "last stages" lasted 4 days longer than anyone had envisioned possible. But that's my dad...say it should be done like "this" and you better believe he's going to find his own way to get it done!

Last night was a very sweet time for me, a gift to a son who loved his dad very much yet never got to spend near enough time with him. Since his condition had been somewhat stable, we decided that everyone else would go back home to be with their families (speaking mainly of Vicki and my sister, Kathy). I told them I would call if things changed and it seemed he was spiraling downward.

I say it was a "sweet time" because I spent a few hours reading and singing to him, as well as just talking...the kind of talking that happens on any old day between a son and his dad. I read a few chapters from a parenting book that I had and talked about how hard it was to be a dad...that surely he could attest. We read quite a lot from God's Word, something all of us have done with him, and talked about how he was so close to being inserted into the descriptions of what we were reading about in the presence of God. There was a lot said, much expressed that I believe was necessary...for me and quite possibly for him.

Things changed very quickly....too quickly in fact for anyone else from my family to make it back in time. A dear friend of ours, who works at the nursing home and lives very close nearby, came up to be with me as I was seeing my dad through the end of his struggles. Imagine that after all of this time...after these 5 days or slight changes, the end came in less than 30 minutes after I saw some stark changes in his condition. It was so fast.

We said goodbye to my dad and her friend by holding his hands and reading Psalms into his ear. And it was as if the Lord was even guiding our reading, as we skipped around unintentionally to different Psalms that seemed to speak absolutely directly to what was happening in our midst...how our sorrows were being turned to joy...what true worship of the Lord looks like. After about 10 minutes of this, my dad finally let go and found himself standing face to face with Jesus. Amazing.

We're...I'm doing ok. Of course there is pain and I know it hasn't all completely set in yet. I was showered with God's grace and peace last night after a few minutes of mourning. I'm telling you that it was as if I couldn't stop smiling as I thought about where he was now...what he was doing...what he was seeing. There's no way that my grief could compare with my joy, knowing the utter euphoria that my dad was experiencing and how there was absolutely no way I'd prefer him to be back here struggling with me. That perspective can only come through the hope I have in my Lord. It was a gift from Him and no doubt an answer to some many prayers.

I really do want to post soon about some of the wonderful things that God did through all of this...but not just yet. We've been on a long, hard journey over the last couple of years, haven't we? But God has orchestrated a masterpiece in our lives. I'm so thankful to have had you all along with us.

Grace and peace!

Still fighting

Wednesday evening we got a call that dad's condition had suddenly worsened and that the nursing staff did not think he would make it through the night. They said it would be good to come and be with him immediately if we wanted any further opportunities for him to know we were there. What an incredibly difficult phone call to receive. We knew it would be coming...but how can you be prepared for that?

We hit the road immediately and began our round-the-clock vigil with my dad. In the very beginning there were times that he responded to us. For brief seconds his eyes would open and wander around the room looking for something to lock onto. He would squeeze our hands and nod his head when we asked him if he heard what we said or if he knew we were there with him.

Through the night Wednesday and into Thursday morning, we stayed by his side...waiting for that moment when he would slip through our hands and into the presence of our Savior. But he just continued holding on...continued fighting.

As time progressed, more signs showed that his condition was worsening. I won't go into those details but each was difficult for us to watch happen. Slowly those sweet times of momentary awareness became less frequent, until they finally ceased completely and the nurses told us that he'd slipped into a coma.

One of the last times that dad recognized our presence was when my sister came back up to be with him. Vicki and I were standing there with him as the nurses were working on him. We had his hands and we were talking to him, reassuring him that everything was ok. My sister came in and we immediately called her over to him, knowing that our moments with him were almost gone. She grabbed his hand and told him she was there with him. She asked if he heard her and with one nod of his head gave us all one of the greatest thrills we've experienced in quite awhile. For him to acknowledge our presence with him was so important to us...especially to my sister. That one nod brought a certain healing and restoration to us. It was beautiful.

My sister, Vicki, and I stayed with him again through the night Thursday and into Friday. He continued holding on. His situation has worsened even more but evidently he and the Lord are just not done here. The Lord has accomplished many incredibly things through this ending chapter in my dad's life. I'll write about those soon because I know they will bless your heart.

Last night at about 10:30pm the nurses told us that somehow he had stabilized...albeit in a very bad place. They seemed sure that he would not "go" (as they say) that night and seeing as though I'd slept about 4 hours in the last 60, we decided to come back home. We also wanted my dad to have an opportunity to pass away without anyone there, something we know happens after so many conversations with the hospice nurses who have been taking such incredible care of my dad.

So, here were are...Saturday morning and dad is still hanging on. We are continuously praying that our Father will bring an end to my dad's fight. He is no longer in any pain which is a blessing. But his journey is not yet complete. We have encouraged him to let go, telling him that Jesus and so many others are anxiously awaiting his arrival. As is so often needed (again, according to many conversations with hospice), we've given him our permission to go. But again, there is evidently more to be accomplished.

Soon I also want to tell you some stories about our hospice nurses. They are some of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life. Remind me if you don't see those soon.

Pray for us. Pray for my dad that he will be restored and that he will soon wake up in the presence of the Most High. It is something that will be very painful but we are so thrilled to think about what he will experience those first few moments in eternity!